There was one brief moment during which I thought bail money might be needed. It involved a 70 yr. old woman with big hair and a sparkly walker. She and Mum were like rams, locking horns. If by 'rams' I mean old ladies and 'horns' is the same as walkers, one beribboned (Mum's) and one beadazzled (big-hair Jersey Shore old lady). Fortunately, I was able to distract the younger old lady with a cannoli and something shiny. The I slung Mum over my shoulder and ran off down the boardwalk, cackling at our escape. (This is a lie. There was no battle-of-the-walkers. I'm just amused by the idea. :P)
In any case, the TRUE story is, we did go to the Jersey Shore. We saw 'the other grandparents' (aka~ my sister-in-law's parents) and my three nieces in a place called... I want to say Seaside Heights, but I could be remembering wrong. Somewhere near Point Pleasant, anyway. We stayed a couple days and had a wee birthday party for Mum. And I have to say, my nieces are pretty cool, for teenagers.
Then we went to Long Branch, where Satan lives, to see him, his girlfriend, and my nephew (nephew's Mum is the girlfriend and yes, Satan IS a month's worth of Jerry Springer shows just waiting to happen; why do you ask? :P). We stayed in Long Branch another couple days, during which...
Okay, this is going to sound like another joke, but I swear by any and every deity, it's the truth...
My two and a half year old nephew whacked Mum in the head... with a HAMMER. No joke, no bullshit. One of those rubber-covered mallets they use to pound out dents in cars and stuff. Somehow the kid got hold of it and was messing around and whacked MUM in the HEAD... with a HAMMER!
Once the screaming and crying was finished (that was Mum, btw), I had to go outside to laugh. She wasn't hurt, of course, or it wouldn't be funny, but the fact is... seeing Mum with a sack of frozen veg on her head in lieu of an ice bag was flippin' hilarious. Especially since the bag was literally the size of her head.
Now, I know this sounds horrible, because I'm laughing that Mum got hit in the head with a hammer, but just try to picture it.
One minute she's cooing at the two and a half year old, telling him he's her golden boy... and the next she's shrieking like a banshee. She didn't even have a lump on her head, so it was just high drama at Satan's place.
Me being me, of course I mentioned to Satan's girlfriend later that it was a good thing there hadn't been any real damage done (most of Mum's shrieking was shock and surprise than anything else), because otherwise, the poor child would have to go through life knowing he'd killed Grandma... with a hammer!
And I must be incredibly sick, because that still makes me laugh. *blushes*
So after that, things were calm enough. I brought Mum back home and she's fine. Of course, now she needs some oral surgery and she's decided she hates her dentist beause he told her she needs oral surgery...
Aside from all that, I've been writing and trying to get myself together for Dragon*Con, as well as AAD, both of which are next month. And it looks like I'm also going to be at Yaoi Con, so again... if anyone's going and want to meet for drinks or a meal or something, I'm game. :)
So, how's you all? *hee*